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It is the time of year when many of us will be making New Year's resolutions and reflecting on things we are going to do better, stop, or do more of for the coming 12 months. But, does making these promises to ourselves and others actually work or are we simply setting ourselves up for a fall?
When making resolutions where do you start? What things do you do? What to avoid? And does it matter?
Based on our own experience here are a few ideas.
Take time to reflect on things that have happened over the last year. Try and pin point the positive things but also consider the negative things which you may have had to deal with.
Once you have a list of both the positive and negative things you can start to look at what you would like to change, do better or not do at all.
You will need to set yourself a goal, but remember goal setting is a skill. If you decide to take on something you have never done before - like losing weight, going to the gym or similar, it will probably be best to do this in stages which means you will need a plan.
Your goal, or resolution, may well be to lose weight, get fitter or stop smoking but if you don't break this down into smaller, more manageable pieces you will most likely set yourself up to fail.
These smaller, time bound, stepping stones will allow you to build momentum and keep you on track towards achieving the bigger goal while, at the same time, keeping you motivated as each one is achieved and ticked off your list.
If at any stage you experience a feeling of being overwhelmed, simply stop and break the next stage down into even smaller pieces with its own timeframe. Each step you achieve will be one more stepping forward to realising your overall goal or resolution.
The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and focus on the positives. You may fall but pick yourself up, get back on the horse, and try and stay focussed on the next goal on your journey.
You don't have to see the whole staircase, simplytake one step at a time and the next one will become more clear
So that's what we can do but what about what we should try and avoid? Well it is easy to find excuses or attribute blame for our own failings. "I couldn't do that because of..........." or " it wasn't my fault."
This blame game is our way of making ourselves feel better or explaining why we have "failed" but at the end of the day this is an easy way out; a justification and reason for us to quit.
WRONG.
It's a time for us to re-evaluate things, look at what has happened and adjust our goals in some way so that the end goal can be reached. Of course this also relies on us actually wanting to achieve the goal in the first place. It may be that the goal wasn't really our goal, we didn't really want to do it and felt pressured in some way. It may be that our steps were too far apart and smaller goals need to be put in place.
Whatever the reason the failure isn't down to someone else or isn't someone else's fault. It isn't even necessarily your fault. It could be done to unrealistic goals, or more often than not unrealistic timings.
Don't give up. Stop, think, take stock and reevaluate.
If you are someone who hasn't been out of your house due to illness or social anxiety for example it's not good setting yourself a goal climbing a mountain.
You may need to start with simple goals such as
Leaving your house
Going for a short walk locally
Doing some fitness training
Going for a walk with other people
Going out further afield for a longer walk
Researching your route
Getting the equipment you need
Climbing a smaller mountain
If the goal is important enough you will find a way to achieve it. Don't beat yourself up.
If you need help setting goals or advise on how to achieve them using the above method don't hesitate to get in touch. We would be more than happy to assist you.